ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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