Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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