My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize