you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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