South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
