i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize