Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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