If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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