that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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