Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
