About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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