we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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