Did you just see the Batmobile???
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
