My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
