Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
