It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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