They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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