I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
