so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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