Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
