So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
