never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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