Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
