But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
