Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
