i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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