from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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