so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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