so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
