Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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