I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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