Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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