thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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