My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
