Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
