Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so that wasnt chicken after all
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
