My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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