He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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