Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize