i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
