I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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