So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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