He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
