i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
