And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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