so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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