Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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