Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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