I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
