This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
