the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize