Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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