Don't you send me to vm
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
