and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
