you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
