After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
