Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
