To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
where does the pee come out of this thing
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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