he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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