i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize
