my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
