Little spoons don't ask big questions
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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