you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
