That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
this just has baby written all over it
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
