I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize