I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
